Showing posts with label Godzilla. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Godzilla. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)

Godzilla vs. Megalon.  To this day, the title sends shivers down my spine.  I got it for Christmas when I was a little kid; from Santa Claus himself according to the tag.  I think, but I'm not sure, that I was in the third grade.  The exact timeline isn't important - what's important is that it was the first Godzilla movie I ever owned.  Now I'd seen scary movies before thanks to my brothers and I'd seen giant monster flicks too, including a lot of Godzilla, but I never actually had one of my own.  I had a few VHS tapes already, He-Man and whatnot, but something about this one was different.  Looking back on it in hindsight I can almost convince myself that it was a formative moment for me, a premonition of the shelves and shelves full of sci-fi and horror flicks that I'd eventually amass as a adult.

At the time, all that mattered to me was that I had a Godzilla movie of my very own, to watch whenever I wanted without subjecting myself to the capricious vicissitudes of any cable station or video store.  It was the Good Times Home Video version, the weirdly orange box art depicting the titular titans locked in battle astride the World Trade Center.  I still have that tape, though I wouldn't dare to try and play it at this point.  It's probably been watched at least 30 times in its entirety, although certain highlights such as the climactic battle have far more wear on them.  To this day there are scenes from the American dub of the film that I can recite by heart.

At this point I'm going to let readers in on a little secret: I like Godzilla.  That comes as a big surprise, I'm sure.  The incessant kaiju references and pictures all over this entire blog couldn't possibly have tipped anyone off.  Actually, I take great joy in wearing my Godzilla-love on my sleeve, as my 2008 post in which I tried to cheekily compare Godzilla with Jesus indicated in a none-too-subtle fashion.  Hell, I like Godzilla so much that I even lobbied the Wife to have him on our wedding cake.

Lobbied successfully.

Keeping that in mind, it's not at all easy to objectively review Godzilla vs. Megalon.  It's an utterly ridiculous movie, made all the more so because I'm going to talk exclusively about the American dub of the film which is so near and dear to me.  I won't, -can't-, make any excuses for it.  It's a sloppily written, slapdash creature feature with all the craft and subtle nuance of a sloppy wet fart.

And I love it.

The plot of the movie barely exists: Undersea nuclear weapons testing has angered the people of the creatively named underwater kingdom of Seatopia.1  Peopled entirely by toga-clad, mutton-chopped weirdos, Seatopia doesn't bother sending a representative to the United Nations or even dispatching an army (presumably composed of trident-wielding hoplites riding dolphins) to attack the land dwellers who conducted the tests.  Nope, instead they summon up their angry god Megalon, which is for some reason a 50 meter-tall, lightning-shooting, grenade-spitting beetle with drills for hands2, and send it to smite Japan.

Meanwhile Seatopian secret agents attack the house of  local inventor Goro Ibuki in order to steal Jet Jaguar, the man-sized, suspiciously Ultraman-like recreational robot he's been working on and of which they are inexplicably aware.  Goro and his friends defeat the scoundrels' first attempt using a potent combination of bad 1970s movie karate and weird editing, but eventually the villains make off with the robot and use it a flying beacon (Did I forget to mention that the humanoid robot some dude built in his living room can also fly?) to guide Megalon through the Japanese countryside on a mission of destruction.

Megalon hops around burning trees and fighting tanks while making frequent use of footage from previous Toho films such as Godzilla vs. Gigan.  Eventually Jet Jaguar breaks free of Seatopian control and flies to Monster Island to retrieve Godzilla to help fight Megalon.  As Godzilla slowly swims to Japan, Jet Jaguar flies ahead of him and turns himself into a giant (Did I forget to mention that the flying humanoid robot some dude built in his living room can also turn himself into a giant?) in order to hold off Megalon until the calvary arrives.

As a side note, the prominent role of  the Jet Jaguar character in this film was apparently in response to the then-popular Ultraman series of television shows, in which a human hero fought giant monsters by turning into an vaguely robot-like humanoid giant.3  This was lost on me as a kid, as I didn't actually see the original Ultraman series until my late 20s.  At the time the only similar sci-fi hero with which I was familiar was Spectreman, who, I might add, could switch from human- to giant-sized as well.  In any event, legend has it that Jet Jaguar has so much more screen time than Godzilla in this film because Toho was hoping to spin off a separate franchise just for him.  

Jet Jaguar puts a beating on Megalon, and for a while it seems as if Godzilla is going to show up to the party all dressed up and with no one to dance with, but then the Seatopians play their trump card.  Cleverly remembering that Godzilla vs. Gigan had come out just the year before and gambling that the Gigan outfit must still be around somewhere, the Seatopian commander calls the villains from the previous, otherwise unrelated film and asks them to send Gigan to help.  Lazy writing?  Sure, but Gigan's my favorite monster so I'll let it slide just this once.

Gigan and Megalon: Hands are for sissies.

Gigan flies from the other side of the freakin' galaxy in about twenty seconds and he and Megalon proceed to literally pound Jet Jaguar into the ground.  This battle also includes what may be the first ever giant monster high-five caught on film.  Just when all hope seems lost, Godzilla finally makes landfall...miles away.  An awkward sequence ensues in which Godzilla is shown sprinting across the sandy, sparsely vegetated savannah that apparently comprised most of the Japanese countryside in the 1970s interspersed with more shots of Jet Jaguar getting a WWF-style beatdown.

 When Godzilla finally gets there, one of the best fights in all of the Godzilla series erupts.  Seriously, they fight forever.  As a kid it seemed like the final battle took up half of the movie, and while I'm sure that's not really the case, the too-long wait for Godzilla really does have a decent payoff.  Unfortunately, a substantial chunk of the battle is actually reused footage from Godzilla vs. Gigan, which as I mentioned earlier had only come out the year before.  Still, at that point in my life I hadn't yet seen Godzilla vs. Gigan, so the (reused) scene in which Gigan slashes open Godzilla's shoulder with the rotary saw on his belly, resulting a massive fountain of blood, absolutely blew my young mind.

There's an exceptionally silly sequence in which Megalon traps Godzilla and Jet Jaguar in a ring of flames using the weird napalm grenades he shoots from his mouth.  Nevermind that Godzilla is practically invincible and shoots thermonuclear flames out of his mouth every single day, there's absolutely no way that he could just walk through some burning foliage and kick Megalon in the shins.  Instead there's a taut, dramatic sequence in which Godzilla clings to Jet Jaguar's back like a koala while the robot flies them to safety.

Soon after the tide turns in the heroes' favor.  Gigan decides he's had enough and flies away, leaving Megalon to his fate.  What results is one of the referenced sequences in all of Godzilla, a scene so iconic that it was eventually immortalized in the opening credits to Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Behold, the dropkick of doom:


Now that Megalon has gotten his comeuppance, Godzilla shakes hands with his new robot pal and lumbers off into the sunset.  Then Jet Jaguar shrinks down to normal size, sets the nearest small child on his shoulders, and happily marches away as...as a theme song about him plays.  Godzilla gets the short shrift in his own movie and Jet Jaguar stands smiling into the future, his vacant black eyes fixed on a franchise of his own that never quite materialized.

For years Godzilla vs. Megalon was only available on DVD in the U.S. as a bootleg.  It was one of three Godzilla films (the others being Return of Godzilla, aka Godzilla 1985, and Godzilla vs. Biollante) caught in a bizarre rights limbo that has confounded Godzilla fans and completionists for years.  Last year a company called Media Blasters announced that they would be releasing the film on region 1 DVD, but the project suffered gruesome delays and hang-ups because of problems with Toho, the company that owns the Godzilla franchise.  Originally slated for release in December 2011, Godzilla vs. Megalon finally came out on DVD today.  I haven't even taken delivery of my copy yet - This review was done using a crude rip of the movie on a pair of  VCDs.

Like I said, Godzilla vs. Megalon isn't a good film. Hell, it's barely a Godzilla film: it's a Jet Jaguar movie that had Godzilla added in at the eleventh hour to put butts in seats.  That said, it's a fun movie with satisfyingly over-the-top monster battles and a campy, lighthearted tone.  Even though Jet Jaguar is a boring rip-off of every other Japanese sci-fi hero of the era, Gigan and Megalon are wildly original out-of-this-world designs and are portrayed with a surprising amount of personality.4  Regardless of its numerous and prominent flaws, this movie is a good time.  Plus, because of the rights issues, it's one of the rare Godzilla movies that casual fans may never have seen.  If you're into camp, kaiju movies, or just plain silly cinema, I'd recommend checking this one out.

____________________
1.) Or is just an underground kingdom?  Or maybe under the ocean floor..? 
2.) I would worship that.
3.) There were, and continue to be, scads of the Ultraman shows.  The original series aired in the 1960s, but by the time Megalon came out at least three other Ultraman series had aired.  Today there have been more than twenty shows in the Ultra Series.
4.) Gigan, in fact, was portrayed by Kenpachiro Satsuma, who would later go on to play Godzilla in the Heisei series of films in the 80s and 90s.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Using Godzilla To Think About Jesus...

I imagine that if one were to ask a few random passers-by to name a handful of characters from our modern mythology and then to arrange them on a scale of similarity to one another, two figures who would appear on almost everyone's list, but at opposite ends of the spectrum, would be Godzilla and Jesus Christ. What two characters could possibly be so well known but so very different in terms of their importance in people's everyday lives? Godzilla, of course, is the Japanese science fiction character who receives very little of anything that could be termed "respect" from the masses. Meanwhile Jesus Christ was a first century Palestinian Jewish prophet who has come to be worshiped as Almighty God by hundreds of millions of people. How could two figures possibly be more different, more unrelated? What could an examination of one possibly do to help us increase our understanding of the other?

Godzilla, King of the Monsters


The truth is that Godzilla and Jesus have far more in common than one might think. They are both said to be possessed of awesome power and somewhat indeterminate origins, stories about them are all very much rooted in the social climate of their times, and they have approximately the same level of worldwide name recognition.* Both are the center of a variety of major marketing campaigns, both have countless books and films devoted to de-constructing their meaning, and both have large, devoted, and often annoying fandoms. They're also similar in another, very important way - both of them have various accounts of their lives and understandings of their meaning that just plain don't jive, and boy do their followers do whatever they can to try and shoehorn them into some semblance of consilience.

Jesus of Nazareth, Jewish Prophet

For example, the origins of both Jesus and Godzilla differ depending on the accounts in which they're depicted. The Gospels of Matthew and Luke both differ significantly, for example, in the genealogies of Joseph, the husband of Jesus' mother Mary (Joseph's genealogy was important to show that Jesus was a descendant of David). In comparison, Godzilla is said to have been a mutated dinosaur in the original 1954 film, but in the later film GMK, he is alluded to as a weird amalgamation of the souls of those killed in the Pacific War. Likewise, the location of their births is open to question. Was Jesus born in Bethlehem, as indicated in Matthew and Luke, or was he born in Nazareth, as John indicates? (See John 7:41-43, in which people question whether or not Jesus can be the messiah since he is known to come from Nazareth and not Bethlehem.) Godzilla, likewise, is alternately said to have come from either Odo Island (the 1954 film) or Lagos Island (the 1991 film).

In the case of Jesus, I suppose an argument could be made that his origins are shrouded in the mists of history. However, it isn't that we don't have any information about where he was born, it's that we have conflicting information about where he was born. Reports about Godzilla are a slightly different matter - because we know Godzilla isn't real, we can look for the meaning behind his two supposed birthplaces. When we're done examining the meanings of Godzilla's birthplace, we will attempt to use the same principles to look at Jesus' origins.

Odo Island, itself fictional, is a remote outpost of the Japanese archipelago peopled with fishermen and other people working rustic trades. Godzilla appears here because the post-war incident that directly inspired his creation, an event in which a Japanese fishing vessel became irradiated by straying too near a U.S. nuclear test and went on to sicken dozens of people with contaminated fish, represented an attack on the Japanese everyman. Godzilla's appearance on Odo Island indicated that no one was safe - not even people living far from the urban population centers targeted during the war were safe from the new nuclear paradigm.

Lagos Island, also fictitious***, is presented in the 1991 film Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah as a Japanese army garrison. This particular film is actually a statement about Japan's emerging role in world markets, especially Japan's economic rivalry with the United States. The antagonists of the film are Caucasian terrorists from the future, and King Ghidorah is a monster that they have created to attack Japan and hobble its economy. By putting Godzilla's origin (and King Ghidorah's) on a WW2 battlefield island, the storyteller is providing a context for the ongoing rivalry between the United States and Japan. He is saying, in effect, that despite the goings on of the past six decades, the relationship between Japan and the U.S. will always be colored by the events of the second World War.

When it comes to Jesus, why is it important to so many Biblical authors that he be born in Bethlehem? It is largely, or perhaps entirely, due to the prophecy of Micah 5:2, in which the one who will rule Israel is predicted to come from "Bethlehem Ephrathah". There would be a strong incentive for people inclined to believe that Jesus was the promised Messiah to "spin" his origin to put it at a place predicted in the scriptures. It is also worth noting that when Matthew quotes the Micah prophecy in his narrative, he alters the words to say "Bethlehem in the land of Juda" rather than "Bethlehem Ephrathah" - the latter reading would indicate a particular Jewish clan rather than a physical location. Prophecy also accounts for the tedious genealogies given in Matthew and Luke - the scriptures indicate the Messiah will be a descendant of David, so both Matthew and Luke try to tie Jesus to David through the Joseph's supposed ancestry. Exactly how Joseph's ancestry would matter if Jesus was sired by God rather than Joseph seems unimportant to them. Perhaps the myths of Davidic ancestry and the Immaculate Conception originally existed separately from each other in the oral traditions about Jesus, only later to become mashed together in a form that doesn't exactly make sense.

Other bare specifics about the lives of both Jesus and Godzilla are contested by our various sources about them. Did Jesus die on the morning after the Passover meal, as in Mark, or did he die on the day of -preparation- for Passover as in John? Did Godzilla die in Tokyo Bay from the Oxygen Destroyer in 1954, or fighting Destoroyah at Haneda airport in 1995? Did Jesus drive the money changers from the Temple at the end of his ministry as in the Synoptic Gospels, or at the beginning, as in John? Did Godzilla face Anguiras as his first opponent, as in the Showa timeline, or was Biollante the first other monster with whom he did battle, as in the Heisei timeline?**** Was Jesus mocked while clothed in a scarlet robe or a purple one? Are Godzilla's dorsal spines gray, purple, or crystalline? Hell, is Godzilla himself gray or green?

It's possible to smooth out some of these discrepancies by combining our narratives and using some mental gymnastics to make the problems disappear, but doing so results in a narrative that is unlike any of the narratives that we've actually been given. In Mark, Jesus is crucified on the morning after the Passover meal, while in John he is crucified on the day of preparation - it's not that either source is wrong in a literary sense, it's that they are trying to say different things about the nature of Jesus' death. John's placing of Jesus' death on the day of preparation, while the Passover lambs are being sacrificed at the Temple, is to make Jesus even more of a metaphor for the "Lamb of God". To John, Jesus is the ultimate Passover sacrifice, and thus he dies on the day of the other sacrifices. It may not jive with the historical facts (or maybe John's right and Mark is wrong), but it is true in a literary sense, just as Mark's account is true in a literary sense. The "facts" of Godzilla are the same way - He didn't die at Tokyo Bay or Haneda Airport, he died at both - in two separate stories about him that were meant to say different things.

The precise meaning of their lives is likewise in question and often contradictory. Jesus alternately preached both pacifism and altruism -and- the stony abandonment of family in preparation for the coming of the Kingdom of God. Godzilla likewise alternates between a raging engine of destruction and a kindly protector of human beings. Indeed, they very much appear to be reflections of the authors who pen their stories - Mark's "angry" Jesus and Honda's "angry" Godzilla, Matthew's "imperturbable" Jesus and Sekizawa's paternal Godzilla, "John's" Jesus as apocalyptic messenger in Revelations and Kaneko's malevolent supernatural Godzilla of GMK**. They get constantly co-opted for whatever message is convenient - Jesus for family values (though Matthew 19:29 places a high value on abandoning your family for the sake of the Kingdom), Godzilla for pollution control (Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster, despite Godzilla's own deadly radioactivity). Does Jesus want you to cast off your own possessions, or does he want you to be rich like the prosperity preachers say? Is Godzilla primarily interested punishing humanity for misusing science (Is Godzilla nature's way of pointing out the folly of men?) or in helping children stand up to bullies, as Godzilla's Revenge says?

Both Jesus and Godzilla, precisely because they no longer speak for themselves, find all manner of words put in their mouths. It may be fair to say that the writers of the Gospels were among the world's first "fan fiction" writers. Certainly few Christians would have objections to applying that label to the writers of the non-canonical Gospels. Indeed, for example, the non-canonical Gospel of Philip, with it's wildly different portrayal of the nature of Jesus (compared to the orthodox sources) can certainly be compared to the 1997 American Godzilla film that was met with such acrimony by "orthodox" Godzilla fans. Indeed, whatever one wants Jesus, or Godzilla, to stand for, it's not hard to find some source, be it canonical, non-canonical, folkloric, or otherwise, with which to substantiate that view.

More extreme examples: Some modern "scholars" (In quotation marks because they exist far outside the realm of scholarly consensus) argue that Jesus had a wife, Mary Magdalene. Some modern Godzilla fan fiction authors often use the character "Gigantis" as a female counterpart for Godzilla. Schlock writer Tim LaHaye sends himself into spasms over his fantasies about the bloody, apocalyptic Second Coming, while schlock director Ryuhei Kitamura was quite impressed with his own bloody and personality-less Godzilla rampaging through Earth's final hours.

Even the early Christian docetists have their counterparts among Godzilla fans: Did Jesus really die on the cross, or did he merely appear to die? Was Godzilla actually killed by the Oxygen Destroyer, or did he merely appear to be killed? Jesus is said to have been resurrected, and likewise Godzilla appeared again only a year after his "death". Was this "new" Jesus a phantasm as some of the docetists contended? Was this new Godzilla the same creature as 1954, or a different monster entirely?

Indeed, did Jesus understand himself to be a Jewish apocalyptic prophet as some modern scholars (See Ehrman, for example) contend, or did he see himself as God's son, as contended by many Christian theologians? Did Godzilla see himself as nothing more than a destructive animal or a force of nature as was indicated in the 1954 film, a sentient but malevolent engine of vengeance as depicted in GMK, or the friendly protector of Earth and humanity as depicted in Godzilla vs. Megalon? Because neither one of them can answer these questions for themselves, people continue to battle fiercely over their legacies.

Godzilla and Jesus both also speak to us through their shared deaths and resurrections. Jesus, of course, is said to have died on the cross as the perfect sacrifice to atone for the sins of humanity. Indeed, according to Paul, the resurrection of Jesus is the single most important event in the entire history of the universe. It is said to be through his death and rebirth that humanity is redeemed. Godzilla, likewise, died for humanity, fiercely battling against Destoroyah in 1995. It was his death in battle against this horrible creature that, according the Godzilla legends, saved the entire world at the cost of Godzilla's own life. But wait, for Godzilla was resurrected - His only begotten son was taken up by Godzilla's escaping radioactivity and was reborn as a new Godzilla. Thus, Godzilla also saved humanity by his death and rebirth.

The messages of Godzilla and Jesus share a similar root in the worldly fears of the people who follow them. Godzilla's original message was rooted in the very real fears, newly introduced to the world only scant years before his first appearance, of nuclear war. Godzilla himself is, in our earliest sources, a thinly veiled cipher for the atomic bomb and for war in general - he is an unstoppable force that suddenly thunders into the lives of innocent people and wreaks havoc upon them. Likewise, Jesus' message, as attested to by our earliest sources, was that of upcoming apocalypse and the final reversal of fortunes when this world, infected as it is with evil and suffering, is overturned and a new "Kingdom of God" reigns over the earth. Both Godzilla and Jesus speak to the fears of the people, specifically the fears of impersonal evil over which the people themselves can exercise little or no control. (There is also a strange sense in which Godzilla himself, through his change from a destructive force into a protective one, mimics the metamorphosis of Yahweh from the despotic and malevolent tyrant of the Old Testament into the benign and more or less forgiving God of Jesus in the New Testament.)

Both Godzilla and Jesus represent ways of dealing with the dominant fears of the time in which the stories about them emerged. They serve this purpose in different ways - Godzilla originally as a personification of the threatening force and Jesus, as he came to be understood, as the personification of the benign force. Godzilla and Jesus both also speak to the need to change - Jesus talked of instituting the values of the soon-to-arrive Kingdom of God during our own time, while Godzilla's gospel, such as it is, speaks of the need to change the post-WWII paradigm of international relations dominated by the fear of nuclear annihilation.

Furthermore, both Godzilla and Jesus have shed some of their original meaning and picked up new meanings throughout the years. Godzilla is no longer a grim specter of nuclear doom, he's a cultural icon, a mascot for Japan, and an action movie hero (or anti-hero). Jesus is no longer merely a Jewish apocalyptic prophet, he's the Son of God (and/or God Himself), and there are probably almost as many different interpretations of him as there are people who claim to follow him. Because, when speaking of themselves, both Jesus and Godzilla are relatively mute, they provide a blank slate for all of us to use when we want to talk about ourselves, our hopes, our fears, and our situations.

Finally, both Jesus and Godzilla have left us, the former in the first century and the latter in 2004, and many fans of both harbor a keenly felt long longing for their return. Though we cannot know when, or if, either will return, followers of both have been promised an imminent return of their heroes. "Yes, I am coming soon", Jesus reports in Revelations 22:7 and 22:12. Godzilla is said to merely be on hiatus, that he too will be "returning soon". But uncertainty is the enemy of faith, and Jesus' followers have since the first century lived in anticipation of the Second Coming, always interpreting "soon" as applying directly to themselves and their own times. Likewise, a quick jaunt to any online Godzilla forum reveals countless discussion about when the Japanese behemoth may reappear.

This idea of another coming is important to both of them. If Jesus is dead and never coming back and Godzilla is retired and will never appear in another film, then they completely are in the past. They would become relics of a bygone time, and while they might still have meaning in our lives today, the scope of this meaning would be limited. If we think of Jesus as imminently returning and Godzilla as just on sabbatical, then they can still adapt to our context. What would Jesus think about the war in Iraq? What does Godzilla have to say about nuclear tests in North Korea? By allowing these characters the opportunity to come back to us, to exist in our own times, we allow ourselves to unapologetically adapt them to the situations that we're facing in our modern lives. In other words, we allow ourselves the luxury of thinking about our situation through the lens provided by these characters.

When we talk about Godzilla, we cannot help but talk of the "legendary" Godzilla. We acknowledge him as a fictional character and understand that our interpretations of him are colored by our own expectations and by the goals and sentiments of the authors who write about him. If we were to somehow contrive to talk of a "historical" Godzilla, it would be the Godzilla of the original 1954 film, with all other interpretations of Godzilla from subsequent films, novels, cartoons, and comic books forming the embellished and often contradictory "legendary" aspect of the Godzilla myth. When the various stories about Godzilla don't jive and can't be forced into a neat continuity, we have no great need of creating a weird "non-canonical canon" to square away the differences. Because most of us have little interest in claiming that our depictions of the life of Godzilla are not without contradictions, we have little difficulty accepting that different storytellers were trying to tell different stories and make different points while using Godzilla as the vehicle for their ideas. When Kaneko's Godzilla is depicted as a supernatural monster made of the souls of the dead, it isn't because he actually was something along those lines in his original (1954) form, it's because Shusuke Kaneko's message that the Japanese public needs to come to grips with the atrocities their country visited upon their Chinese neighbors during World War II can be better expressed by using Godzilla in such a way.

When it comes to Jesus on the other hand, there is a a distinct difference between the historical Jesus and the legendary Jesus that has become the primary Christian superhero. The disparity between the historical Jesus and his legendary counterpart is enormous, and it is the legendary Jesus with whom most modern Christians are familiar. There's an enormous incentive in some circles to smooth over the differences in the accounts about Jesus' life, and indeed there are some who have little interest whatsoever in the historical Jesus and the apocalyptic message of his earthly ministry. Indeed, when it comes to authors like Tim LaHaye, and indeed even Paul, there's often little stock placed on Jesus' own understanding of himself. The problem arises when people try and mash all these competing versions of Jesus (or at least those versions that advocate values that the individuals in question want them to advocate) into one hybrid version of Jesus that doesn't match any Gospel account. In this respect though, Jesus is just like Godzilla - the various interpretations of Jesus represent attempts by various authors to use him as means of conveying their own ideas.

When Mark's Jesus repeatedly becomes irate with his disciples, and indeed when earliest ending of the Gospel of Mark concludes with the women fleeing from the empty tomb too frightened to spread the news of the Resurrection, it was because Mark was trying to illustrate that Jesus' message was misunderstood even by his closest followers. LaHaye's Jesus, riding across the plains of Megiddo on a white horse and literally exploding the armies of the Anti-Christ by the hundreds of thousands, speaks to LaHayes's own modern, Evangelical Christian eschatology. These depictions are both "true" in a literary sense, but all they can tell us is what a particular author wanted Jesus to do, not necessarily what he actually did.

Why is this so obvious when we're talking about Godzilla, but so elusive when we try and apply this understanding to Jesus? (Or indeed to God Himself?) Well, in short, it's because very few people have a vested interest in any particular depiction of Godzilla being the inerrant word of God. No one seriously thinks that Godzilla "died for their sins" or will cast them into a lake of fire after their death if they didn't live their lives correctly. The reverse is true for Jesus' followers. The desire to protect their faith, and to be able identify with the central figure of that faith, lead them to a.) ignore the obvious social constructions that play into the various myths about the legendary Jesus and b.) pick ala carte from the many varying depictions of Jesus in order to come up with an image of him that suits their purposes. Godzilla fans, of course, have favorite films and favorite incarnations of the character, and for many of them their particular view of Godzilla is very important. Discussion boards about Godzilla are often the scene of heated arguments about which interpretation of him is superior, and the answer often comes down to personal preference. When we are deciding what version Godzilla we prefer, the conclusions we reach are based on what we want to see in, and read into, the character. I contend that the same force is at work when we talk about Jesus.

There is a very real sense in which the proper understanding of Jesus, both as a historical and legendary figure, is one and the same as the proper understanding of Godzilla. While we can, with varying degrees of difficulty, point to a historical root for both of them (By watching the original 1954 Gojira or using our earliest and best sources about Jesus to try and determine what he probably said and did.), we have to understand that the majority of popular opinion on them comes from material that is not necessarily directly related to the historical root. It is important to remember that sometimes, when Godzilla and Jesus appear to say or do things in different accounts that don't match up, it isn't because we're not interpreting them correctly, it's really because they don't match up. The various writers speaking through them have different things to say. Losing sight of that does little but help to ensure a steep descent into absurdity.

*Marketing materials provided by Bandai claim that Godzilla has close to 95% name recognition in the industrialized world, which, if true, would actually be greater name recognition than Jesus.

** Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters' All-Out Attack - Widely considered to be the best Godzilla film apart from the original.

*** Technically speaking there is a real Lagos Island, but it lies off the coast of Nigeria in the Atlantic. In the Godzilla stories, Lagos is located in the South Pacific, near Japan.

**** The Showa continuity is composed of the films made from 1954-1974. The Heisei continuity is composed of the 1954 film and the films made between 1989 and 1995. The Millennium continuity consists of the films made from 1999-2004, though the majority of the Millennium series did not form a coherent storyline and rarely contain any concrete references even to the 1954 original - they are the GJn of Godzilla.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Slow news day in Japan...

Well, it's good to know that the Japanese really do have a plan for dealing with aliens and Godzilla. Giant monsters and zombies are two subjects that have spawned more elaborate planning from myself and my friends than almost anything else, and it's good, in kind of a sad way, to know that foreign heads of government have similar concerns.

FYI, the reason there's any question at all as to whether or not the Japanese could preemptively fire upon Godzilla is the good ol' postwar MacArthur Constitution, which abolished Japan's military and replaced it with a "self-defense force". (That's why when you watch Godzilla movies all the tanks say JSDF on them.) War is, in all seriousness, unconstitutional in Japan, and the country is prohibited from taking aggressive action on the battlefield. Even Japanese forces deployed in foreign lands as part of UN peacekeeping groups can only fight to protect themselves, allied forces, civilians, and Red Cross personnel. However, this could be circumvented in the case of Godzilla by declaring him to be a "natural disaster", as Minister of Defense Shigeru Ishida explained to, I assume, a dumbstruck crowd of journalists over the weekend. If Godzilla were, to borrow a phrase, classified as an "enemy combatant", it would technically be illegal for the Japanese to attack him should he be, for example, simply hanging offshore near the nation's coastline but not actually attempting to come ashore or eat ships full of Red Cross volunteers.

There's actually been some talk in the Japanese Parliament lately about getting rid of the JSDF and replacing it with a proper army, mostly in response to concerns about North Koreas's nuclear ambitions. It remains to be seen if the Japanese have a contingency plan prepared in case Godzilla should attack the Korean Peninsula in search of radioactive fuel to power his nuclear metabolism.