Thursday, July 31, 2008

Saving the Children...?

I was milling about over Answers in Genesis this afternoon when I noted the following headline on Ken Ham's blog: "Children Saved Through AiG VBS Program".

"Holy shit," I said aloud to the cat. "Is AiG actually doing some good in the world by doing charitable work overseas or providing medical treatment to underprivileged children?!?!"

The cat glared at me coldly and returned to licking its groin.

I sat there for a moment, staring off into space and trying to figure out what VBS could stand for. Could it be some terrible disease? Could it stand for something good that AiG was donating to the poor, perhaps Vaccines, Books, and Shelter? My mind raced. Could weird ol' Ken Ham actually be helping other people instead of just filling the heads of the impressionable with Creationist lies? I found a link to the main VBS site and read on. What could that program's purpose be? What could Ham be doing that was saving children?

Take a guess.

Yup, he was filling the heads of the impressionable with Creationist lies.

The VBS program is something that Hamand his goons sell to parents and/or churches that want to teach their kids whacky "facts" like Young Earth Creationism and the "7 Cs of History". The 7 Cs go something along the lines of Catastrophe, Christ, Confusion, Consummation, Corruption, Creation, and Cross. That's the order in which they appear in the .rar file of "preview posters" anyway; I suspect they are meant to be presented in a somewhat different order. I'm looking at the posters now and...wow.

The awesome "Catastrophe" poster shows a herd of drowning mammoths and cavemen trying to keep up with Noah's Ark, while the "Confusion" poster is somewhat less dynamic in its portrayal of two guys standing around shrugging. The best of the bunch, however is the "Consummation" poster, which shows Jesus wielding a sword and riding a horse out of a raging inferno while a giant skull looms in the background. I have a feeling that image is also the one that Ham goes back to every time the rest of the world reminds him that his creation research isn't actually science.

VBS stands for "Vacation Bible School", which I suppose should have been pretty easy to guess, and rather than actually saving children, it's devoted to "saving" children by confusing/frightening them into becoming science-blind Evangelicals. It even tries to introduce children to apologetics (Which I guess is fitting in a way because most apologetics are only believable if you're 6.) by teaching them how to lie to their playmates about such things as the age of the earth, the "reality of the Flood", and..."where people groups come from"...? That sounds...Southern. It's even based on the NKJV version of the Bible, so you can rest assured that they'll be wrong even at the most basic level.

Sorry Ken, filling children's heads with Dark Ages garbage and then padlocking their minds with a web of "apologetics" lies isn't saving anyone.

6 comments:

Garret said...

Ken Ham is one class A jackhole. Even when I was a fundy, he was an embarassment. Yipes.

Fox no sox said...

I had a prof at UofL that wanted to teach his children Norse creation as literal truth. I have to say, that being the case, it would be a lot more interesting hearing children argue about whether or not the world was made out of a dead giant.

Skippy the Skeptic said...

Wow, which prof was that? Imagine the rhetorical battle to which we'd be treated if a roomful of 8 year-old Nordic creationists faced off against a roomful of 8 year-old YECers...

JAK said...

Skippy - I think you're contrafabulating Ken Miller and Ken Ham...

Skippy the Skeptic said...

Man, how the hell did I manage to do that? The best part was I kept switching back and forth between the two throughout the post. Oi. This is a wonderful example of why I shouldn't type posts while watching TV.

JAK said...

I figured you were paying too much attention to what the cat was doing...